When people get into committed relationships, no one ever truly expects their partner to be dishonest with them. Whether you’ve been together for three months, three years, or 30 years, developing the feeling that someone is being dishonest can be incredibly uncomfortable.
“The truth always finds a way to surface,” she said. “Regardless of the lying party, eventually something in their story will sleep. Often, it’s those that are surrounding the lie who will accidentally tell all. Poke around and ask others — don’t just rely on one source for your information.”
If you’ve been feeling like your partner is developing a tendency to be dishonest with you, here are 10 signs that can help you get to the truth.
Their hands are giving it away.
When trying to determine whether your partner is lying to you, it’s a good idea to pay close attention to what they do with their hands.
For example, behavioral analyst and author Dr. Lillian Glass wrote in her book “The Body Language of Liars” that when someone is lying, they might be pointing an excessive amount. This is because “when a liar becomes hostile or defensive, he is attempting to turn the tables on you,” she wrote.
They also might use their hands to touch or cover their mouth.
“A telltale sign of lying is that a person will automatically put their hands over their mouth when they don’t want to deal with an issue or answer a question,” wrote Glass.
Their non-verbal expressions don’t match their words.
Flickr / Nathan Colquhoun
According to divorce mediator, relationship coach, and psychotherapist Toni Coleman, you should look out for non-verbal cues.
“When their words don’t match their non-verbal expressions or overall behavior, this inconsistency is a red flag,” she said. “For instance, if they say they care about their partner and want to work on the relationship, but their behavior communicates a lack of caring accompanied by little or no effort to improve things, they do not mean what they are saying.”
Being slow to respond could be a sign of lying.
Is your partner slow to respond during an important conversation you’re having? Kevin Darné, author of “My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany),” told INSIDER that this is a key sign that you should be paying attention to.
“When someone speaks their mind they are usually quick and decisive with expressing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions,” he said. “On the other hand, if someone is searching for the right words or appears to be editing their thoughts, they may not be sincere. Sometimes, people tell white lies in order to avoid hurting others with the truth and other times, they are looking for ways to offer encouragement.”
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